It’s engagement season! Did you know that nearly 40% of engagements happen between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day? If you’re thinking about popping the question this winter, here’s a bit of advice from those who have been exactly where you are. 

1. Know your partner.

Okay, this is a given considering your relationship is at the point where you want to spend the rest of your life with each other, but it’s easy to get caught up in outside pressures. Movies are filled with stories about grand gestures, candlelight dinners and big public announcements. But is that something that your partner would enjoy? Would a big gesture sweep them off of their feet, or would they prefer a quiet, private moment? Keep this in mind when you're planning your proposal.

2. Only follow the traditions that you want to.

Speaking of outside pressures, fuck ‘em. Engagements and weddings have so many traditions that people follow simply because it’s “the thing to do”. But only you know what really works for you. Is a surprise proposal right for you, or would you rather talk about it together before? Don’t want a diamond on your hand? Go with an alternative ring. When two of my best friends got engaged, they talked about it before and went on a trip to celebrate their decision to get married. They also decided they both wanted engagement rings. Do whatever you want. 

3. Schedule something special for the whole day, not just that big moment. 

It’s only natural to be focused on that moment when you go down on one knee, but getting engaged is so much more than the proposal! Take time to celebrate your relationship together. Maybe that’s a dinner at your favorite restaurant, a wine tasting, a hike or walk, or a weekend trip to somewhere special; just spend some time together doing something that you both love to really soak up this exciting step in your relationship. 

4. Consider a photo session as the backdrop.

If you are going for a surprise proposal, this time of year is absolutely perfect for using a photoshoot as a cover-up. Any other time of year, a random couples shoot might be suspect, but this time of year is so popular for fall photos, holiday cards and Valentine’s Day gestures. Plus, having a photographer already set up while you propose ensures that you’ll have memorable photos from that big day. Proposing during a photo session isn’t the only way to make sure you have photos of that moment, but it’s certainly a good one.  

5.  Lean into your nerves!

My favorite part of every proposal I see and hear about is the “they were so nervous!!” line that will naturally be a part of the proposal story. It’s such a sweet moment, and embracing the way you really feel (nerves included) is the best way to fully soak up the memories.